Finding Solace

Finding solace

In the wrong place

At the wrong time

No, I’m not crying

But there is a part

Inside of my soul

That’s broken down

Just need to let go

Finding solace

Among the stars

In crowded bars

In the open skies

In unfruitful denial

In the hope of a future

In wanting to be near

To the mythical bliss

They call happiness

Real-World Girl

With imperfectly shaped brows
And uninteresting brown eyes
Resembling the winter skies

With frizzy locks uncascading
Down slumped shoulders
“Stand upright!” they told her

A crooked nose only heightened
By the assymetrical lips below
Not pink but wearing an unenchanting glow

Prominent bags under the eyes
Concealer unused so as not to lie
About the countless sleepless nights

Scars of acne past come alive
In the most unflattering light
Foundation can’t even deny

A simple black line drawn
Under the eyes to try and hide
From those with prying sights

A different shade of gloss
Brushes gently across the lips
Hoping to steal away from the hips

Oversized tees aren’t a choice
To hide the muffin-top from the boys
High-waist jeans are her favorite toys

Chipped nails stubbed from being bitten
Cellulite prominent on the thighs
Won’t smile so the crooked teeth stay hidden

More flaws than a slapstick comedy 
Life itself seems to be a joke enough 
Oblivious to the fashion “stuff”

Expectations of size zero
But a realistic size twelve
She’s a real-world girl struggling
To make it to the end 

Unphased is unlikely
When the world looks down upon
A mind wound so tightly
And her confidence is torn

“Wear your smile as an accessory”
Is easy to say when it shines
A million watts brighter
Not overshadowed by crying

Living in a bubble made of glass
Is easier to shatter than to last
Self-confidence doesn’t exist
Merely a ghost of the past

A real-world girl who can’t walk
In a straight line when wearing heels
Thinks eyeshadow is highlighter
And never shows what she feels

Untamed Mind

There were times when I truly believed I was doing the right thing,
When lines blurred to a smog and time flew by like an unwritten song,
Where the trees could be of any shade and I wouldn’t have cared,
A sense of remorseful oblivion with distorted euphoria settled upon.

A blissful myriad of purposeless existence fuelled by lost passions,
Belief in a sense that didn’t even exist in other dimensions,
Multiplying feelings and dividing the players of the game,
That somehow seemed to end in never once a single winning.

The ones who set foot upon the very path that I myself tread upon,
Seem to face the dilemma of a meaningful existence just the same,
At every turn the throng grows thin and branches into realizations,
When the dawn’s light shines there is but one soul still untamed.

Every syllable that escapes the unflattering curves of my mouth,
Is accompanied by a pang in the uncensored and imaginative heart,
For nothing I say ever means anything less than what I feel,
How unfortunate for those whose ears play the listening part.

Humour and irony cloud the wounds that cut deeper than a knife,
If there was a simple truth it would be simply to state that words,
In all their glory and with all the power unknown to the universe,
They have the kind of weight that even a simple smile couldn’t deter.

Thought I had found a place to allow the feelings morose a refuge,
Thought there would be some respite from the mountain-sized ache,
It began with the inability to confront and ended with the same,
If I was a vampire I’d beg you to drive through my heart a stake.

I believed in unicorns and leprechauns and all things magical,
I believed that there was light at the end of the darkest of tunnels,
And when the dream faded into nightmares I had to stop believing,
That the magic only existed when falling prey to the happy pills.

Four Letters Don’t Spell Love

Before you drive right in, I just want to warn you, I’m about to say some controversial things. Don’t hold them against me; I’m only writing what I know and using my experiences and observations to form opinions. My thoughts run a bit long and a little bit wild, but hey, can’t hold back a romantic from romancing, even if it’s just with words.

An all-consuming fire inside you, running like electricity through your veins, driving you to be everything you thought you could but needed someone to help you be – that’s the kind of love we read about in romance novels and see in romantic comedies. The kind of love which consumes you and sets you free at the same time, which gives you butterflies in your stomach even after months or years of being together, which sends a chill down your spine at every touch.

Consider this: maybe all we’re looking for is validation. The kind of love I have borne witness to is anything but raw. It is tainted by dependency, selfishness, jealousy, possessiveness and an incorrigible need to remain unsatisfied.

Being selfish is inherently human. It’s good to be selfish because it means that you’re thinking about yourself. But when your selfishness spills over into actions which affect another person, how unfair is it to blame self-preservation for the deeds you could have avoided in the first place if you had just been reasonable and thought of the consequences. There is no room for selfish love in a relationship. Invariably, it will wear a person out, and render them incapable of pure love, unfettered by the constraints of motive and intention. There doesn’t need to be a reason to do something for someone when you’re together with them, because love is more than enough of a reason.

Being with someone is not the same thing as owning them. Possession of property is not the same as possession of a person. Love is meant to allow people to grow, and when the growth becomes stagnant, then the love no longer prevails in the relationship and subsequently shows up in the actions of the individuals. Possessiveness and jealously only leads to insecurity, and insecurity is based on fear. Where fear prevails, there is no room for love.

Why does love make someone want to be a better person for someone else? Why can’t love be the motivation for a person to be a better person for themselves? Self-love today finds no place in a competition against any relationship. Love is a meadow, allowing people to bask in all its glory and be free. Love is not a cage, the confines of which a person is constrained to. But when a cloud of negativity is cast over the meadow, people run far away to a restricted environment, and that’s where the real problem begins. No one wants to stay under the cloud until it passes.

It isn’t possible to have a relationship which is free from all the negative emotions in the world. It’s great to have speed breakers on a road because it allows you to appreciate the open road so much more. Everyone feels like they are entitled to the open road, and therefore even a single speed breaker causes so much more of an issue than need be.

Expectations lead to disappointments, haven’t you heard? Yet, a friend needs to stay in touch for the friendship to exist; a boyfriend’s priority needs to be his girl over his friends; a parent needs to provide unconditionally for their child – where are these rules written? No one seems to realize that expectations are born through patterns. A person’s behavior is the predominant indicator of what they can give and what they want.

Unfortunately, people change. As it is so often said, “Change is the only thing which remains constant.” But change takes time to get accustomed to. No one can really be that much of a chameleon that they can adapt to every situation thrown at them, and if I’m wrong about this – kudos to you. The point here is that not everyone realizes that change isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If focus shifts from your relationship to your work, why is there an incessant need for people to fight about it? Isn’t it a great thing if your significant other is trying to make something of themselves? Where is the support which comes as a part and parcel of love? Love cannot be sans support, for love entails being there when someone else needs you.

You don’t have to be there for someone at the cost of yourself, but who’s going to explain that to the lovelorn, whose idea of love is so tainted, that romance novels don’t stand a chance against the real world.

People don’t want to find a balance which works because they would rather be stuck in a spiral until someone pulls away, leaving the other feeling so hollow without the comfort of the rut. Real issues are draped with superficial arguments, because no one wants to make that much of an effort. Where then, is the love here? “I will be with you, I will probably marry you someday, I will eat meals with you and converse with you till one of us ends up snoring, but I will not tell you how I feel about an issue or how you make me feel in a specific situation. I want to avoid a conversation because it’s easier.”

Let me add here, a lot of people don’t make it easy for someone to tell them something. Everyone wants to believe that they’ve got it just right and they are able to read people like open books. If that was really true, wouldn’t the society we live in today be less Game of Thrones and more Fairyland?

It’s okay to not have it together sometimes. It’s okay to feel like you’re sinking, because that’s exactly when you test your swimming skills. You cannot be sinking because you have made another person your life jacket. Everyone needs to look out for themselves enough to know when something toxic is consuming you, instead of the fairy-tale romance you thought it was.

Independence in a relationship is frowned upon. Co-dependence is the myth people revel in. Power dynamics of a relationship are so awkward and based on factors which shouldn’t even figure in a relationship in the first place. Making your significant other your confidant becomes so difficult when you’re trying to find yourself. Do not get me wrong – I’m all for openness and honesty. But sometimes, you end up leaning against someone so much that if they aren’t around to catch you, you are bound to fall because you forgot how to stand yourself up. Loving another person doesn’t mean losing yourself to them or to the relationship. Love is meant to nurture you, to help find yourself, but not to find someone else who can tell you who to be.

Mutual feelings are often misinterpreted with degrees. “I love you more than you love me.” It’s cute at first, but it also instils some amount of competitiveness into the relationship, which is the beginning of the downfall. Putting a figure on the amount of love degrades the essence of love. Love is a feeling, it isn’t tangible. There is no need to quantify love, but a need to let it be and bloom into something beautiful.

Love is a tragedy. Love is not an excuse. Love is meaningful and it should fill you up, not wear you down. Love is everything you thought you could ever be, but needed the conducive environment to bloom into. Love is not a power play, and it is most definitely not validation.

You are beautiful, and you are everything you want to be. Don’t be something for someone else, because then they aren’t loving you for who you are; rather, the version of you that someday you will cease to be. And if your love is based on that, will it really triumph over the inability to be anyone but the façade?

Love means letting go. It means that sometimes, you need to put some distance between you. That doesn’t take away from the love you feel; rather, it gives time for the negativity to subside, and for you to see that love is what was underlying all along. Space is a good thing, because if your love was based on ‘out of sight, out of mind’, well, you’d rather be out of that anyway.

War Between Thoughts and Emotions

The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.” – Daniel Goleman.

To be caught in a web between one’s own thoughts and feelings ever so often leads to a spiral. Caught between a rock and a hard place, the war renders our minds and hearts incapable of optimal functioning when there is no respite from the conflict between thoughts and feelings. Our minds work a certain way, and our hearts want to follow their own path.

There are moments when our brains take a backseat and allow our impulses to drive us, a fight-or-flight kind of situation. Every action is born of a corresponding thought or feeling, and understanding the inner conflict revolving around the same is imperative. The repercussions of such turmoil is seen when the need to go about our days with purpose, is lost to the power of indecisiveness.  

A single thought can give rise to a myriad of feelings. When we feel a certain way, we either revel in the feeling, or choose to move past it. Feelings don’t define a person; a person defines their own feelings. This process requires the alignments of our thoughts and our feelings, a process which, when understood fully, is not as tedious as it sounds.

A simple act can invoke an array of emotion from different people, based on their perception of the situation. Perception is largely dependent on the thought process one indulges in, which allows a scenario to be seen through a different lens.

Perception goes hand in hand with perspective. One man’s wrong could be another’s right, and therefore, there can never be a true ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to think or to feel. One of the conflicts between thoughts and feelings arise from this complication of perspective. We often find ourselves employing someone else’s perspective in our lives and our choices, and this, no matter how we feel about a situation, confounds our thought process. When you truly accept yourself as you are, your thoughts and feelings will be accepted by yourself as well, and no amount of ‘social pressure’, so to speak, can alter this mental serenity, which is why self-acceptance is one of the most important tools a person should own and use.

With a constant change in our surroundings, we adapt our emotions and our thoughts to match those. However, ever so often, our minds take time to synchronize with our realities. This is where perception plays a role: learning to adapt is about perceiving the change as less of a challenge and taking it in our stride. This is one of the scenarios where aligning thoughts and feelings is imperative: it allows for existential serenity.

The war between thoughts and feelings is one a person fights only when the two aren’t synchronized. Being aware of our thoughts and our feelings contributes to improved mental health, because being in touch with one’s self allows for alignment and thereby better decision making, a more wholesome understanding of the self and is a step towards self-actualization.

Contrary to popular belief, feelings are very personal and are the responsibility of an individual. A person feeling a negative emotion can choose to turn that into a positive emotion, so long as their thoughts follow suit. Thoughts are extremely helpful in coming to terms with feeling one way and choosing to feel another. Feeling and thinking about a situation a certain way is natural, but is not an imposition to the human. The choice to feel, and how to feel, lies in the hands of the person alone, unless, of course, they hand over the remote control of their lives to another. In the odd case that we choose to give someone else the enormous responsibility of our feelings, it invokes the right of passage known as the blame game. The blame game doesn’t empower, nor does it lead to anything but eventual self-destruction. Taking responsibility for our thoughts and feelings in turn gives us responsibility of our actions, which in turn allows for self-acceptance, and it is always easier to ‘move on’ in life when our minds and hearts are aligned.

Experiences contribute to shaping a person’s perception. Let us take the example of a break-up. Parting ways with a person who plays a significant role in your life can be difficult. The feelings may range from hurt to angry, depending on individual situations. Moving on is one of the hardest things a person endures, and despite the seven stages approach, often the need to make sense of these feelings escapes us. Emotions reign when dealing with a break-up, and until a person truly wishes to move on, they will not be able to make sense of the downtrodden way they feel.

Putting a thought to the feeling gives us a chance to introspect, to formulate a healthier approach to dealing with these feelings. Looking at it the other way around, putting a feeling to a thought often allows a person to hold onto the thought, to find the thought a place amongst our beliefs as we begin to ‘feel strongly’ about a thought, so to speak.

When it comes to feelings, or even thoughts, there is no wrong or right. It is all a matter of perception. Every person feels things differently, and this can be attributed to their own thought process. The cognitive is more pragmatic, and breaks down the complex enigma of feelings into something the mind and heart can comprehend. No one can tell another person that what they’re feeling is the correct thing to feel.

Taking the example of a break-up once again, a person may find it in themselves to move past the separation and dive into another relationship within days or weeks of the break-up. Another person could take years until they feel ready to find love again. It is the sole choice of the individual to stop feeling hurt, although it may not seem that way until they’re ready to accept this. A person may believe that one bad relationship has altered the way they view future relationships, but once again, the choice is theirs and theirs alone to define what their future relationships look like. They may put up walls around their hearts if hurt once, allowing their inherent need to love and be loved to be suppressed by a past experience. However, if a person is able to align their feelings with their thoughts, they will be able to use the experience, no matter how heart-breaking, to their advantage, and allow themselves to be open to new experiences, and take every challenge in their stride. But if a person’s mind and their heart at war, how could one expect them to move on, when one metaphorical organ is telling them otherwise? It is up to us to choose whether never to fall in love again or learn from it and use it to understand ourselves. This choice depends on how we approach the situation. If we learn from the experience it becomes valuable, shifting from a painful experience to a learning one.

Personally, I equate feelings to the heart and thoughts to the mind, simply for the ease of understanding. When it comes to making decisions, I find that there is almost always a strain revolving around picking whether the heart or the mind should prevail. Looking at a situation from the practical side of things usually implies allowing the emotions to be kept at bay. Allowing emotion to prevail would imply that a person is being impulsive, and allowing their choices to be dictated by the way they feel. What is lesser known is that there is a balance that exists, where thinking and feeling come together and rationality prevails.

One of the major conflicts with emotions stems from the idea of positive and negative attitudes towards them. Take the feeling of pain, for instance. When one thinks of pain, the implication is always negative. Alteration of one’s thought process, however, allows for one to look at the feeling as positive; for example, how pain can be understood and lead to motivation, or perhaps even self-growth.

The war between thoughts and emotions is illogical, irrational and often inexplicable. It isn’t necessarily consequential. The idea of ‘overthinking’ can be associated with feelings. We think things through and then re-think them, solely because our emotions are searching for closure, or some sort of an explanation, almost anything that makes sense to us. And when nothing does, we think some more, allowing the war to strengthen, and for sense to evade us.

Humans have a tendency to be emotional, it is looked at as one of the downsides of what it means to be human. Emotions are one of the most important aspects of humanity; the appropriate concoction leads to an empathetic and compassionate existence. We deny our inherent characteristics of the full spectrum of human emotion simply because we view it as an inconvenience. Being ‘emotional’ doesn’t make a person less rational, nor does being practical or being pragmatic make a person emotionless. It is unfortunate that a lack of understanding of human thoughts and emotions and the prevalence of biases towards the idea of ‘feelings’ allows for the chasm between them to only widen.

I truly believe that the war between thoughts and feelings is self-created. The alignment of the two is not hard to achieve, if only one chooses it to be. Every individual has the power within themselves to make choices. Granted, sometimes circumstances evade us, but we can choose to control our reactions. This is where the alignment comes into play. Situations invoke feelings, which is turn bears a reaction. Thinking through the situation and being able to give oneself the space to really examine the outcome of every reaction is an art that when practiced enough, becomes habitual, almost instinctive. And that is when we know that the war is truly won.

Feelings are fleeting, unless we choose to let them linger. Acceptance is always the key to progress. Acceptance of feelings, thoughts and situations make it impossible for the war to prevail. To overcome the hurdles brought about in our daily existence, we can choose to accept what lies beyond our control and choose only the way we react. This choice is one exercised after careful consideration of our thoughts and feelings.

Every action is a choice, be it conscious or subconscious. And the rationale behind an action is the intertwining of thoughts and feelings. A prolonged thought is a belief system, and our beliefs are usually based on the way they make us feel. For example, a belief in compassion and kindness towards fellow human beings is a feel-good kind of scenario. If I hold open the door for someone else, or help an elderly person cross the road, the validation exists in finding happiness in the gratification from someone else. On the other end of the spectrum, I could be someone who believes in ‘each one to their own’ and I could live a long and happy existence doing things only for myself.

Sometimes we experience things that we cannot explain, and therefore it becomes harder to cope with those emotions. Being able to put a name to the feeling, as a face to a name, is helpful in such situations, as it allows one to understand the feeling better. Understanding one’s emotions and thought processes makes finding the balance between them easier.

Continuing once again with the example of a break-up, we attribute a break-up to a cause, be it a negative one, such as cheating, or something uncontrollable, like a resistance to having a long-distance relationship. Our thoughts find logic in the intangible act of parting ways, whereas are feelings are chaotic. We need to be able to label the way we feel, for example, feeling hurt or lonely or upset, so as to make sense of the feeling that a break-up has left us with. We want a reason because our minds need to give our hearts some closure, and whatever the explanation, we have to find a way to allow our thoughts and feelings to come together and thereby begin the healing process for ourselves.

Be it a negative experience or a positive one, every human has undergone something or the other which has led to them becoming the person they are today. What we don’t realize is that it isn’t just experiences that build us or break us, but our reactions to the situations that define the people we are today. This is where the war between thoughts and feelings is born, and as we choose our actions, we forge the path that this war proceeds upon.

One of the best ways to navigate through the combat is equipping yourself with the right armory. Your arsenal must always comprise of self-love and acceptance, and come what may, don’t be hard on yourself. Your mind and heart are your lifelong companions, so treat them with the same compassion you would expect from others, and trust me, the ‘war’ between them won’t seem so daunting.

Trigger Warning

A little something about holding onto hope, When it feels like it’s the end;
The struggle always bears strength.


When I first had a panic attack, I was quite literally in the middle of a laugh. I spent the night in the hospital, unsure of how to make sense of my erratic heartbeat and my uneven breathing. It was shortly after that I got a prescription.

It was a great system while it lasted; I’d wake up in the morning and pop a pill and an automatic smile would spread across my face. I called them happy pills. It really was that simple. And then, it wasn’t. It took about a month for the bubble to burst. I wasn’t feeling any better about myself, and the idea that the world would be better off without me was rooted firmly in my head.

I won’t dwell on the reasons I felt the way I did. I won’t even tell you what happened that day. All I can tell you is that I hurt myself. I was angry. I was hurt. I was frustrated. I was helpless. I felt as though I had lost control over my life. No one was listening. They had already painted me ‘psycho’.

To those who knew what I was going through, they knew of circumstance. They couldn’t empathize. They tried, and I will always be grateful for those who gave me a shoulder or lent me their ear, but at the end of the day, the only face I needed superimposed on Superman’s body was my own.

It’s been a long journey to get to where I am today, having broken the chains that they call ‘self-destruction’. My guilt spirals, self-esteem issues, body-image issues and lack of self-worth, to name a few of the ingredients that contributed to the cocktail of my struggle to find myself.

The only reason I’m sharing any of this is because I want to believe that my experience can help someone out there. I want to be able to shout it out from rooftops, that it really is true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s quite literal an interpretation, but it’s true. I woke up one morning and I realized that I had survived, and it was a second chance for me.

You know those clichés people talk about? They’re only clichés because they’re true. The biggest one that I now advocate is this: one day at a time.

I wasn’t strong enough then to be able to reflect on the reasons that I had chosen to take such a drastic step, so I began small. I had to begin somewhere. And with smaller goals, there were smaller achievements, but every small achievement contributed to bigger motivation.

What I heard was, “You can’t always be sad.” What I needed was, “Whatever it takes to help.” At the time, I felt like nobody understood me. I recall writing this in my journal because I couldn’t find it in me to say it out loud; “You don’t get to decide what’s wrong with me, you don’t get to diagnose me just because you know me. If I tell you what’s wrong, or even that I feel like this is something I need to deal with – you either support me or you don’t. There is no alternate solution – you don’t get to tell me differently.” I felt caught, being unable to explain to someone who just wants to help that their help is less helpful and contributes more to making me feel helpless if they didn’t accept the way that I felt.

As the months progressed, I felt more in control. I felt like I was slowly equipping myself with the tools necessary to actually sit down and address my problems instead of running away from them.

My toolbox was polished, and slowly but surely, I began using them all. Self-love, self-care, forgiveness, gratitude and most importantly: learning to live for myself.

I don’t pretend like my experience makes me more empathetic to those who are going through something so devastating that it breaks them apart. But I want to be able to. I want to be able to tell someone who thinks of taking their own life that it’s not the solution. It never is. Whatever you feel right now, it’s temporary. You have the power to do something about it, if you just try. You just have to want it. Reach out. Be it to your friends, your family, a therapist, a medical practitioner, a stranger on the street – just ask for help. There’s no way that your request will be denied, especially if it’s fueled by the will to live.

I can’t promise that things work out. I can’t promise that whatever situation is tormenting you right now will be okay overnight. I can’t promise that you will come out of this stronger or even wiser. But I can promise you that the moment you start loving your life, you will find the strength to fight whatever comes your way.

No one should have the power to devastate your life, regardless of their stature. No one else should be able to tell you who you are, or who you can be, and especially not whether your life is worth living.

If you’re thinking about it, don’t do it. Seek help. Go to therapy. There is plenty of mental health help available online. There are helpline numbers available and people you can talk to. But ending your life serves no purpose. And I say this as someone who has considered it and lived through it and can vouch for the fact that if you try hard enough, you will learn to love your life again.

I’m writing this to tell you that life is beautiful, flaws and everything, and you have to embrace every aspect of it! Not everything will always go your way, and that’s okay. You have to learn to make your peace with the cards you have been dealt, and then play them to your advantage. That’s how poker works, and at some level, life too. I do believe that we need to talk about these things, because you don’t know what someone is going through, and you don’t want to be there when they’re gone and you’re left thinking, “But she was such a happy person, no?”

You never know what someone is going through, so don’t be unnecessarily apathetic towards your fellow humans. If you don’t want to help, that’s perfectly alright. But don’t stand in the way of someone getting help, or contribute to the reason that they need it. Find your solace and live for yourself. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people, whether you know them or not, and give them a chance to show you how beautiful you are, and beautiful your existence can be.

P.S.: If you feel like you need to talk and you don’t have anyone available to listen, I have started a portal called The Venting Machine to lend you an ear. I hope that it helps, and I sincerely hope that you know that whoever you are and wherever you may be, you are loved and your happiness is prayed for.


You see me naked

Your eyes widen as

I don’t match the image

Concocted in your head

Whimsical of the feel

As your hand grazes

The stretch marks that

I fought hard to erase

My skin hangs low in

Places some to remind

Of the times when I

Wished to be thin

“Be gentle with me”

I say silently, almost

Ashamed to tell thee

Of the terrible things

Endured by my body

I starved for days to

Ensure that the tum

Was sucked well in

To hunger I was numb

I thirsted for days for

That lick of cheese

To make my heart

Happy I’d be down

On my knees but my

Head wouldn’t let it

Even get a piece as

My will to be ‘thin’

Went to extremes

They said I was fat

And I would laugh

Along too until I’d

Go home and cry

Alone in my room

And with every tear

I’d need comfort

Food and so I’d

Binge on dirt and

Feel guilt after

It wasn’t the way

I know that now

Don’t need to hear

It again but how do

You rid yourself of

The voice that says

“Lose the pounds,

It’s not okay to be round

The fat needs to be

Gone forever just delete!”

Playing in my head on

Repeat but what I

Think I wanna share

Here is – it’s my body

So my rules are fair

Don’t tell me even

On a dare that I’m an

Elephant just because

I enjoy my meals or

Don’t say I can sit on

You and break you

Because you don’t

Know how it feels

I will never hate on

Those who spoke

Words so unkind

But honey please

Know that they still

Play on my mind

Body image fragile

No stamina to

Walk even a mile

Don’t look at me

With sympathy

Because I have

Fought through

Just remember the

Next time you base

Your idea of a joke

On someone obese

They have hearts too

Humanity broke my heart.

I always wrote poems about heartbreak, because that was the best way I knew how to deal. I would pour my emotion into the words, stitching them together as though fabricating my own pattern. It only worked for me, but hey, at least it helped, right?

The problem with heartbreak is that no matter how much you try, your heart doesn’t just turn itself off after you’re done being sad. You don’t become a robot or even the Tin Man (from the Wizard of Oz, just in case you didn’t get that one) by falling prey to the disease that is heartbreak. Essentially, your heart is prone to being damaged, and in all honesty, there’s a strong likelihood that it’s gonna probably happen again.

Lately, my blame glasses have found a new victim for the state of my shattered heart, and this time, it’s not one, but a whole of humans, rather, the state of humanity as seen in the headlines. Let’s just rap the negatives, shall we?

We start with


Volcano eruptions

Of feelings undealt

We jump to conclusions

Setting in motion

Acts we can’t

Take back




Wait, what?

He found a loophole legally

And walked away scot-free

Animals can’t talk

So let’s take advantage

No laws in place

Easy bail

Out of jail

And on the Earth

One life less




Female infanticide

Child marriage

Child labour

Is the list not over?

So intolerant

Of anything we

Can’t comprehend

So instead we

Choose to end

The thing that

Makes us human

It’s a body part

Used often as metaphor

You guessed it

It’s the heart

… this is probably not my best work, but I do feel as though acceptance is the first step to reach atop a mountain of impossibility. All I’m asking is that people be a little more accepting of one another, of emotions and opinions and thoughts and feelings and you know what? We might just see real change before that list gets any longer.

My heart isn’t going to get fixed that easily, especially not with some of the content we find floating on social media platforms. From animals being mercilessly beaten to the lack of accountability across the globe, let’s just get this straight: no amount of change can really be seen unless every single person out there wants it.

It’s not about marching to court to get justice for an issue, but something as small as lending a helping hand within your own community goes a long way in building societal compassion and thereby making the global village a happier place to dwell in.

Like I seem to say more often than not, if you don’t support a cause, no one is compelling you to, but don’t go around putting down those who do believe in it. Be a promoter of your own cause and if everything’s just dandy, then live and let live without being a hindrance to those who wish to breathe free.


A Concerned Citizen of the World.


There was once a soul
So pure and so unreal
That she lived in isolation
In a world of fiction
Daunted by the lies
That came from the cries
Of those who denied
Themselves the prize
That is harmony
In times of discord
Who hold hands and sing
Praises of the Lord
For standing alone
In the face of unkindness
With the weight of the world
Causing a certain blindness
Forgetting golden words
Like love and compassion
To live in a world
By heartlessness fashioned
Don’t deny yourself
The chance to be human
By submitting to forces
That dissipate your acumen  
We claim to be mortal
But want our souls to live on
In every moment or memory
That our present has foregone
Plentiful theories of mortality
Conquering our minds
Make the most of every moment
Be it one or seven lives
And so she existed but didn’t
In the hearts of those that lived
In ignorance and were blessed
To never know what discontent is


If everything is written
As ‘destiny’ or in the stars
Tell me why am I wasting time
Chasing a future like I’m racing cars

The stars in the night sky
Hold stories of my plight
They make for a great read
But not living it in real life

If I’m fated to create my destiny
Why does everything seem
Like I’m like the butt of a joke
Specifically crafted for me

Give me direction
Just give me a sign
I want to create a future
That I’m proud to call mine

When there’s no way out
No escape in sight
I’m clearing a path
For sleepless nights

You know it really is funny
I thought of myself as proud
That I didn’t need a plan
That I would just flounder around

Caught between a rock and a stone
Hell-bent on forging my own path
But with a storm brewing I wonder
If this determination will last

If I’m fated to outlive
Every bad decision I’ve made
I will stop blaming destiny
For the cards I was never dealt