Beyond Saving

I asked you to save me
Not watch me drown
So if you weren’t going to help
Why did you stick around?

It wasn’t your responsibility
To help me pull through
So why didn’t you kill the expectations
Born of my attachment to you?

And I’m asking once again
For your help – to help me survive
And once again you haven’t failed
To leave me high and dry – to disappoint

And now it’s no longer about what
Is making me feel undeserving
It’s that I allowed myself to believe
That I would succeed in my rescuing

I’m beyond saving now
The time is now far gone
There’s no escape for me
So you just stay and watch on

I don’t have it in me
To be my own savior
And I honestly wouldn’t care
Had you not still been here

It almost feels as though
You stuck around just to watch
The result of your betrayal
Unspoken and never caught

But you can do no wrong
So how could I put you to test
Instead I chose to believe
That you tried your best

But I’m beyond saving
I know I always have been
And maybe that’s why today
I can forgive your lack of remedying

So go on, walk away
This isn’t yours to fight
I promised myself I wouldn’t either
And soon I’ll be one with the night

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