The kind of love you see in Karan Johar films (I’m talking about the ones from the 2000s which all started with K), that’s the kind of love I believe in. It’s the all-consuming love, the fairy-tale one, which makes your heart beat faster and heavier but makes your spirits soar. Butterflies in your belly, your head spinning like you’re on a merry-go-round and you can’t help but feel that this is it. This is the moment you’ve waited for all your life; this is the love you sought. It’s overwhelming and it’s passionate. It’s raw and it’s magical. It’s real but still nothing like what you could picture in your wildest dreams.
But the bottom line is, no matter how much I refer to the thesaurus to give me the right words to encapsulate my feelings, it’s impossible to define. It’s impossible without the background sound effect of an orchestra, playing the symphony that is my heartbeat, or even the simple imagery of fireworks, exploding in the sky as though they were the neurons in my brain.
Who is to say that fireworks explode for everyone? Who is to say that tingles keep shooting up and down one’s arm at the slightest of touches from the object of their affections? Who is to say that the world started spinning faster on its axis and everything is a blur, leaving in focus just that one person? Who is to say that things slow down so dramatically that it gives the slo-mo effect a run for its money?
Everyone shows love differently. No two people will demonstrate their feelings in the same way. My love isn’t different just because I don’t show it, or I show it differently than you. Because there is no tangible demonstration of my feelings. Feelings aren’t tangible. They essentially just a biproduct of a chemical reaction in your brain, right? But the outcome of that is not determined by the dictionary definition of love, but rather, what you have built up as love in your head, conditioned by years of watching romantic comedies, reading romance novels
Sometimes, verbalization is not an option. It’s simply easier to allow a kiss, so passionate and hungry, to allow feelings to be demonstrated. Words may not be enough, or the words may not have been invented yet.
Can you even imagine the kind of power those three little words hold? “I love you.” Forget the whole sentence; just think about ‘love’ as a word in itself. Four simple letters with the kind of power to destroy the universe. It’s beautiful. It’s powerful. It’s magical. But it’s not the same thing as what your neighbour feels. It’s okay to feel the surge of power run through your veins and mistake it for lust or pride or any associated emotion. It’s okay to believe that your like is love and overmine the feeling. Because it’s your love to give, so who the hell is anyone to tell you otherwise?
I just can’t fathom the rationale behind the blame game with love. Can you blame an intangible feeling for the decisions you’ve made for it? Has love whispered sweet nothings in your ear and said do it? Or have you been brainwashed and told that you’re doing it for love? I’ve done it too. I chose to make certain decisions based on the way I felt, but I wasn’t doing it for love. Unless I was and I just didn’t want to accept that I was so far gone that my love was my obsession. But what good is love if it doesn’t give you something to write about?
People have different ideas of love, and sometimes, they don’t match. Expectations are different, and so are the actions and reactions based on those feelings. Insecurities and jealousy is parcelled with love today only because of the conditioning of love that the exposure in the modern world has brought with it. But in my opinion, and no one has to agree, love is freedom.
Love is the freedom to be yourself, to love yourself, to love someone else, to love whoever you choose (not that I’m claiming it’s a choice and when you’ve got that formula down, please hit me up) and love however you choose. At the end of the day, it’s your love to give, so demonstrate it, or don’t, but it can’t take away from the fact that your love is love, and no one can tell you otherwise.