It’s About Time I Said Goodbye

This is not just a poem
To show you that I can rhyme
This is a letter to tell you
It’s about time I said goodbye

This is my apology to you
Even though you aren’t listening
Just had to tell you
That I’m through

I tried really hard to pretend
I tried really hard to ignore
But all that did was
It made me love you more

But something’s changed
After all this time
I think I’ve found the strength
To say goodbye

You haven’t been around enough
For me to try to fight for this
And that made me realize
Maybe it’s meant to be as is

I don’t know why it took so long
I don’t know why I stuck around
When there wasn’t anything left
I don’t know what made me decide
But I’m doing this in my own interest

I meant it when I said that I would never give up
And this isn’t me going back on my words
This is just self-preservation based on a realization
That you no longer belong in my world

I know it’s about time
I know it should have happened before
I know I will sometimes still feel
Like maybe I still want more

But how unfair of me to cause my heart
So much pain without a reason
I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more
And that you no longer are something I believe in

I feel lighter than I did a day ago
And there will be times that it aches
But in this moment my burden is lessened
There’s no more pain I can take

I thought I owe it to you to tell you
That it’s no longer about me or you
I’m done making peace with this new normal
So this is the exit that I choose

A warped sense of normality  
A false sense of security
A monster inside named jealousy
And a slap called reality

I needed things to happen
Exactly as they did sequentially
For me to be where I am today
Stronger and far more enlightened
I think I may have found my way

I think I was just afraid
That if I let go
Nothing could keep me from sinking
Because I thought you kept me afloat

And it was thoughts like these
That kept my heart fueled
But even though you aren’t around
I’m still here, alive and kicking
So maybe letting go is allowed

I used to think that if I believed
That you never really cared
It would undermine everything I thought we had
And I was just so scared

But I felt a certain way
And those feelings are mine to keep
I’m only giving up right now
Because it’s about time I get a good night’s sleep

But I will always care
You aren’t a stranger to me
I no longer want anything to do with you
But I can’t pretend that easily

I know you aren’t thinking it
But someday if you do
Decide to call me and talk
Know I’ll never hold it against you

I’d like to believe that you still have
Some pleasant memories
And I won’t tarnish my own
Just because that’s what you’d please

I accepted all I did and I forgave myself
I passed the stages of anger on repeat
But I don’t think you had a chance to
Otherwise maybe you’d want to talk to me

I think it’s okay now
For my heart to find its closure
And if that isn’t coming from you
It’s high time I get to know her

She’s been strong, my heart
I’ve put her through so much
Constantly berating her for existing
When she just needed a hug

And to my eyes I apologize
For shedding plentiful tears
That could have been avoided
If I had just faced my fears

I feel so much more but it’s going to be okay
Because I’ve decided not to feel that way
I won’t take away all that I felt
But I ought to apologize to you one last time
Because I don’t have the courage to press ‘send’

You will never hear these thoughts
You will never know that it wasn’t okay
That all I needed was an explanation
And it would have saved me the heartache

But the rational part of my mind says
You never owed it to me in the first place
In retrospect if only you contradicted this
We both would have walked away unscathed

It’s time now, that I end this saga
Heartbreak, tears and all that drama
From here on out to my heart
You are officially persona non grata

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